Four Ways to Parent with Honor
“Once when some mothers were bringing their children to Jesus to bless them, the disciples shooed them away, telling them not to bother Him. But when Jesus saw what was happening, He was very much displeased with His disciples and said to them, ‘Let the children come to Me, for the Kingdom of God belongs to such as they. Don’t send them away! I tell you as seriously as I know how that anyone who refuses to come to God as a little child will never be allowed into His Kingdom.’ Then He took the children into His arms and placed His hands on their heads and He blessed them.”
Mark 10:13-16 (TLB)
In the fifth commandment, we’re told to “honor” our father and our mother. The word for “honor” in that commandment is the Hebrew word, “kabad” and can be translated as “heavy or to make weightier.” The emphasis is on the relationship between two people, recognizing the importance, worth, and significance of the other person. It means treating someone with great value. But if we are to expect our children to honor us as parents, we must show honor for them as well. I call this parenting with honor. If you’re like most parents, you may be more familiar with parenting with guilt than honor. Rarely do we feel like we are measuring up as parents or doing a good enough job. The truth is you’ll never parent with perfection, but you can release the guilt and parent with honor. Jesus provides a great model for that even though He never married nor had children. Children were drawn to Jesus. They felt safe with Him and loved by Him. Mark recounts a story that illustrates this in Mark 10:13-16 (TLB), “Once when some mothers were bringing their children to Jesus to bless them, the disciples shooed them away, telling them not to bother Him. But when Jesus saw what was happening, He was very much displeased with His disciples and said to them, ‘Let the children come to Me, for the Kingdom of God belongs to such as they. Don’t send them away! I tell you as seriously as I know how that anyone who refuses to come to God as a little child will never be allowed into His Kingdom.’ Then He took the children into His arms and placed His hands on their heads and He blessed them.” Mark shows us some ways in which Jesus honored the children.
First, He honored them with affection and a loving touch.
Mark said, “Then He (Jesus) took the children into His arms and placed His hands on their heads….” Kids, like all of us, need hugs. Jesus gave them an affirming hug. Affectionate hugs make us feel loved and valued. Research has even shown that affectionate hugs can extend your life. In this high-tech world of social media, we need to have a high-touch expression of loving affection that honors one another. Not only do your kids need hugs but even your pre-teens and teenagers. We all do! Honor your children with affectionate touch.
Second, He honored them with affirming words of blessing.
Mark tells us that not only did Jesus take the little children in His arms, but He placed His hands on their heads, and He blessed them. Jewish culture was well accustomed to this type of blessing. You read about it a lot in the Old Testament, where the patriarchs of the family would offer affectionate touch and affirming words of blessing that pictured a future for their children. Can you imagine how valued and special this made them feel? What a way to build their self-image and significance. This is not just a special occasion but should be repeated often in the lives of our kids. We excuse our lack of quantity time by thinking we can just give them quality time. They need both quantity and quality time. Don’t skip over your kids to win the world for them. They don’t need more stuff. They need you. Be intentional and get into their world. They will rarely, if ever, get into yours. Leave your self-centered life with your friends and your activities and invest your time with your kids in the few years you have them. When you do, you add substance and credibility to the words you say to them.
In what ways can you make this practical? Practice hugs with your kids. It will bless you as well. Then express words of affirmation and blessing that honor them for their character and achievements. Communicate your love with specific words of affection. As you honor them, they will honor you. Tomorrow we will examine two other ways we can parent with honor.